MY VBAC JOURNEY!
“You’re
not broken, you’re whole”
The day of my 37Th
week prenatal appointment with my first pregnancy, I vividly remember calling a friend after the appointment to voice how much I felt like I was part of
a “business”. I explained how the in and out atmosphere of the obstetric/gynecology
clinic was not how I envisioned my first prenatal experience. I was teary eyed while on the phone explaining the extremely uncomfortable cervical check I just
had. I was uncertain how to feel about being told during this prenatal visit that my cervix was “not
dilated and that the baby was pretty high in my pelvis”. I hung up the phone with my friend that day
thinking this experience was the norm, and I would soon have my baby. I
had no plan! I was going into the hospital to have a baby soon. I was scared, but trusted my health care team.
I went into labor on my
own, although there had been some mild discussion with my OB regarding induction. This day
would change my life forever! My first birth looked nothing like I imagined.
There was oxygen, a blood pressure cuff, IV pitocin, IV magnesium Sulfate, an
epidural, several cervical checks, a continuous fetal monitor and a Foley
catheter. On October 25Th
2012 after several hours of labor, my first born son entered the world via an unnecessary cesarean under
general anesthesia due to a high spinal. I birthed alone and unaware of anything going on in the operating room. The next few days were a blur! The next few weeks when I was fully
oriented I processed my birth experience. I was happy, sad, confused, and broken!
In March of 2014 we
found out we were pregnant with our second child. This was a very pleasant
surprise! This time would be different, this time I would be prepared! The past
year I had researched VBAC as an option for subsequent births, I joined a local
Positive Birth Group. I
talked to women who had given birth naturally, watched several natural births
online and I had not read as much since my college days. There was no question
surrounding how I would deliver this baby, I was NOT having another cesarean.
It did not take long for my husband and I to decide that this baby would be
born vaginally. I wanted this VBAC with every inch of my being. I educated
myself, hired a hypno doula, hired a midwife, took a hypnobabies class,
received chiropractic care, walked 1-2 miles a day, made nutrition/hydration/supplements
a priority, and most importantly I believed in myself! My husband was on board and was a huge supporter, this was all I needed.
The closer I was to my
guess date, the more I became confident and positive about my VBAC. Sunday December 7th I was reminded by a few friends and
family that there was a full moon, and I recall a few Braxton hicks that
evening. I remained calm, but excited! I knew that I would meet our new
addition soon! Monday December 8th my doula visited us at our home
for our last prenatal visit shortly after dinner. I really needed this visit,
it gave me a pick me up! It was relaxing and affirming for me, we spent this time talking,
discussing placenta encapsulation, birthing time, hypnobabies practice, and we
even went over some positions and exercises to ensure optimal position for the
baby such as pelvic rocks and rebozo. I also recall losing huge chunks of my
mucous plug and having some waves on this day. I would soon be holding my
little one!
Tuesday December 9th
I got to stay home with my son, and this gave the two of us some time before birthing to be alone just he and I. He was a little under the weather and stayed home from daycare.
I called into work and took care of him. We stayed in our pajamas and rested
most of the day. My birth photographer/friend sent me a very encouraging HBAC
story, and we of course went back and forth communicating that day about my
upcoming birthing time. This made me feel even more empowered. I had what would be my last prenatal
appointment at 4:00 PM with my midwife. My son and I went to this appointment,
and it went well as usual. My midwife mentioned
to me that the baby was “still up high”. She told me to sleep on my left side
as much as possible, and to make sure I am doing pelvic rocks at home and
return to see her the following week. My appointment was made for the following
Tuesday. The evening was uneventful. I spent the evening running after my
toddler who was feeling much better. I remember having dinner and doing a
little cleaning that night. My cousin came to visit, and we had a few laughs. I
went to bed a little later than usual, but felt fine when I went to bed around
10:30 PM. At midnight when I made a trip
to the bathroom I lost a little bit more of my plug and had some bloody show.
Wednesday December 10th
I was 39+5, I was awakened at 2:30 AM by a pressure wave. I decided to empty
my bladder and took a few sips of water to see what would happen. I didn’t have
any more waves so I returned to bed. At 3:30 AM I was awakened again by another
wave, but this time the waves were consistent and did not go away. I knew that this
was it, my birthing time had begun. My husband was due to leave for work at
4:30 AM and I usually take my son to school around 8:30 AM before I travel to
work. As my husband gets into the shower, I let him know that my
birthing time had begun. I don’t think he believed this was the real deal, but
after a few more pressure waves, and me explaining pretty sternly we would have a baby today he got it! The waves were about 6-7 minutes apart, and tolerable.We
decided months prior that we didn’t want our two year old son to see me during
my birthing time. My husband gathered everything I needed and I locked myself
inside our bedroom. I had a blanket, my hypnobabies bag, CD player with ear
buds, birthing ball, water, greek yogurt, and pretzels. I decided it was a
little early to contact my midwife or doula. I spent the next few hours moving
from the bed to the floor listening to my birthday affirmation CD. I found that
opening my mouth and softly moaning during each wave made me feel more comfortable. At 5:30 AM I decided I should contact my
doula, being I may need her soon. I still didn’t think it was time to contact
my midwife. My husband was in and out of the bedroom checking on me while he waited
for my son to wake. I text my doula to let her know that I was in my birthing
time. She wanted to know more about the timing of my waves, and whether or not
I was in hypnosis. At this time I was drinking water, taking small bites of
yogurt, emptying my bladder, and listening to some positive birth affirmations on the CD player. My waves were now 5 minutes apart,
lasting 40 seconds, and were very regular. I kept thinking about how long my
birthing time would probably be, and I had only slept four-five hours total. I was not feeling any pressure in my back; the pressure waves simply felt like menstrual cramps.
Although my doula
suggested I try to sleep a little between waves on my left side, I knew that I
couldn’t. However, I was drinking, pottying resting and snacking. My doula suggested
listening to the hypnobabies deepening CD to get deeper into hypnosis, and turn
my light switch to off which pretty much means to shut your mind and body
completely down in hypnobabies language.
I got my deepening CD, and got on my birthing ball around 6 AM. I chose to get into center. This allowed me to use the birthing ball to bring my baby further down while still going deeper into hypnosis. Being on
the birthing ball felt really good. I spent the next few hours resting in the
bed, bouncing on the birthing ball and sitting backwards on the toilet seat. I
was clothesless, still in center and the temperature in the room was perfect. My husband was gone for about an hour to take my son
to daycare and run a few errands. He returned and checked on me periodically,
and this seemed to work perfect. I had everything I needed, and felt like I needed to do this on my own (contrary to what I thought I needed during birth originally). I could not believe
birthing time was going so well when compared to my first birth experience, I
actually felt pretty comfortable! At 9:45 AM I started feeling some pressure
while bouncing on the birthing ball listening to the deepening CD. I then felt and
heard a loud pop! My husband must have heard it too; he rushed in the room to
check on me. I had previously called my midwife around 7:30 AM who told me she
would head to the birth center, but it was too early for me to come in (which I
wanted to wait as long as possible anyway). From our home to the birth center is
approximately 15 miles. I let my doula know that my water had broke, we
discussed its appearance which was not abnormal, and she let me know that she
would be heading to my home (approximately an hour drive for her). I remember feeling calm and in control.
My waves became much more intense once my
water broke. They became closer and longer. I recall one wave lasting 2 minutes
with only seconds between the next. At 10 AM I contacted my doula to let her
know that my waves were much more intense. She was able to listen as I had a
few over the phone. She left it up to me
to contact my midwife again. I decided to not contact my midwife at that time.
I was was obviously in denial about how close I was getting (which was a great thing looking back). I got into the tub for a warm
bath which was very relaxing. I used that time to do some visualization, but
began to have the urge to push while in the tub. My husband began to
become anxious once he learned I had the urge to push. At 10:15 AM I contacted
my doula to let her know that I was having the urge to push, but it was not a
rectal type pressure that everyone had previously described to me. This was a
pressure that felt as if I had to urinate. She let me know that she would meet
me at the birth center, and to breathe as if I was "blowing out a candle". I attempted to breathe as she described, but wasn't too successful. I then called my midwife to let her know that I was on
my way to the birth center, she was already there. She heard me pushing while
on the phone and urged me to come in ASAP. My doula was in contact with my
birth photographer, so she knew to be in route as well. Since having the urge
to push, I no longer had waves and pushing felt wonderful. My husband gathered
our things and we headed to the car to make the drive to the birth center.
My doula suggested we listened to the hypnobaby easy first stage CD during the drive to the
birth center to help us prepare for the baby’s fast approaching arrival. I was
on hands and knees in the back seat of the car while the CD played, which helped
to keep both my husband and I calm.
My midwife called to
check in and see where we were located in route. I am sure my last conversation
with her while pushing had her a little anxious. We arrived at the birth center at 11:15 AM and
greeted my entire birth team. They were very calm, speaking to me in such soft
voices. This happened to not be a prenatal day so the birth center was empty.
My doula helped me out of the car and up the stairs. As soon as I got in the
door of the birth center, I had the urge to push. I had been pushing the entire
trip to the birth center in the car. I knew that I would not make it upstairs
to a birthing room. I slowly squatted down to the lobby floor to push while my
birth team gathered pillows, pads and other supplies. I remember being so
excited! It happened so fast, my doula on one side and my husband letting me
squeeze his hand on the other; I pushed a total of four more times and birthed my beautiful
baby boy onto the lobby floor of the birth center at 11:19 AM. There were tears
and smiles and not much talking during this time. My doula whispered in my ear,
“you’re not broken, you’re whole”.
This entire experience
was much different from my first birth experience. I was awake and immediately held my baby; my
husband was able to cut his umbilical cord. Once I was upstairs in the bed, I had skin to
skin and was able to breastfeed. I immediately drank fluids, I was able to have
a few bites of soup, and I took an herbal bath with my baby. I spent the next 4-5
hours at the birth center for observation. My oldest son and mom later joined
us, this was one of the best days of my life! I made informed decisions during this experience that empowered me, my family, and many women I will meet for a long time. I took charge of my own birth! This is my
amazing, healing VBAC journey!
*Erin Dorr (Midwife apprentice- Labor of Love Birth Center)
*Vicky Wells (Owner/Midwife- Labor of Love Birth Center)
*Katherine Stangling (Hypno Doula- Ancient Heart Birth Services)
*Amanda Henninger (Photographer- a little bit of joy photography) not pictured
You can view a short slide show from this incredible day by clicking on the link below:
~VBAC Mom~
Tasha
